Introduction

Picture this: You're cozy at home, scrolling through stylish outfit ideas on Pinester for your next brunch date with friends. Life feels pretty good—until you notice that someone who ghosted you last month just viewed your latest story. They're nowhere in your texts, but they're apparently very active in your digital space.

This silent, confusing habit is called orbiting. Basically, they've disappeared from your DMs but still linger on your social channels. Annoying? Absolutely. Confusing? For sure. But you're not alone—and you're definitely not powerless.

What is Orbiting?

We've all heard of ghosting: when someone vanishes without so much as an "I'm not feeling it anymore." Orbiting happens when they ghost but keep popping up in your notifications. They might:

• Watch your IG Stories or like your posts
• React to your Reels or TikTok videos
• Scroll through your Pinester boards (maybe even saving a few pins!)

They're in your orbit—close enough to be noticed but distant enough to avoid real conversation.

Why Do People Orbit?

Orbiting behavior can stem from many places. Here's a peek into what might be fueling their silent cameo appearances:

Curiosity & FOMO plays a big role - they don't want to date you, but they still want to see what you're up to. Social media makes it way too easy to keep tabs without saying a word. This often pairs with fear of confrontation, where directly breaking things off feels awkward or uncomfortable. Lurking becomes the easy (though less respectful) way of staying connected.

Some orbiters are holding a safety net. They might not really want you, but they also don't want you to move on completely. It's a twisted form of keeping options open, especially when combined with habitual scrolling - sometimes, it's purely reflex. Your face pops up, they click. It can be mindless or just part of the daily "doom scroll."

Perhaps most frustratingly, some do it for an ego boost. Knowing you notice them noticing you can be a sneaky confidence boost for them. Meanwhile, you're left wondering why they're still hanging around, creating an unbalanced dynamic that serves only their need for validation.

Why Orbiting Feels So Unsettling

Orbiting can mess with your head—even more than a clean ghost. The impact is particularly challenging because of several intertwined factors:

The most immediate issue is the lack of closure. You never got a clear ending, so these random interactions reopen the wound every time you see their username pop up. This feeds directly into the confusion that follows—you might catch yourself overthinking: "Are they just bored? Are they still into me? Should I reach out?" The mixed signals can fuel an endless cycle of self-doubt.

The situation becomes even more complex when you consider the frustrated healing process. It's tough to move on when they're technically still in your digital world. You're stuck in an emotional limbo that feels unfair and draining, especially when paired with the constant temptation to re-engage. Seeing them might tempt you to send a casual "Hey"—but if they wanted to talk, they'd have replied to your last text, right?

How to Reclaim Your Power

Whether you're dealing with an ex, a former crush, or that random fling who still hovers online, you don't have to feel helpless. Here's how to take back control of your digital space and emotional well-being:

Start by setting firm digital boundaries. Block or mute if it helps. Unfollow their profiles, remove them from your story views—whatever it takes to protect your mental space. Sometimes a simple button click is all you need to breathe a little easier. While you're at it, remember to avoid over-analyzing their actions. A "view" or a "like" doesn't always equal a "let's-get-back-together." Often, it's just a tap. Reserve your emotional energy for people who put in real effort.

The next step is to redirect your focus to your own feed. Shift attention to things that genuinely inspire and uplift you. Create a fresh Pinester board for your dream goals, rework your playlists, or find new hobbies that bring you joy. Remind yourself how full your life can be—without them. If you feel the need, consider a direct approach. If you truly crave clarity, sending a short, straightforward message can offer closure—even if they don't respond. At least you've spoken your mind and can move forward.

Most importantly, take time to reflect on what you deserve. You deserve someone who respects you, your time, and your boundaries. A ghost-turned-orbiter rarely checks those boxes. Keep your standards high and your circle healthy. Remember that your digital space should be a source of joy and connection, not confusion and doubt.

Don't Let Orbiting Eclipse Your Shine

Sure, seeing a ghost-from-the-past lurking in your notifications can feel jarring. But remember: You're in control of who gets real estate in your head. The best part of modern dating is that you can curate your digital life in a way that supports your happiness and well-being.

At SPILK, we're all about helping you navigate love in the age of swipes and likes—one chat analysis at a time. The next time you spot an orbiter hovering in your online world, take a deep breath, reset your boundaries, and keep shining.